The shift from control to influence can feel jarring. Where once you could work longer hours or develop new skills to improve your performance, you now rely on the effectiveness of your team, their collaboration, and sometimes, their adherence to a shared vision. Managers are often evaluated on:

• Delivery: meeting deadlines, staying within budgets, and achieving goals.

• Team morale and growth: ensuring that the team is engaged, motivated, and continuously developing their skills. (One company I worked for expected the folks on my team to be “happy,” which is DEFINITELY not something I have a lot of control over.)

• Strategic alignment: guiding your team to contribute meaningfully to organizational goals.

The landscape of influence is fraught with external dependencies that can derail progress despite your best efforts. I have gone through torturous planning sessions to get a roadmap in place, just to go back to the drawing board after a reorg, a layoff, or a leadership change.

Building Your Influence Toolkit

A new manager has to develop many new skills to succeed, and fast. Your focus will always depend on what is the biggest need (often connected to where you are in the business cycle), though there are three broad categories:

Set Expectations

• Clearly articulate what success looks like for your team. Define deliverables, timelines, and quality standards.

• Set clear roles and responsibilities, so every team member understands their contributions to the bigger picture.

• Don’t leave any assumptions unaddressed.

Managing Up and Out

• Your team’s success often hinges on relationships with other teams and leaders. Align your team’s work with organizational goals by building strong relationships across the organization.

• Stay informed about company objectives, anticipate challenges, and create plans that align your team’s capabilities with business needs.

Managing Through Conflict

• Conflict is inevitable in any team setting. Your ability to navigate it constructively builds your credibility as a collaborator, and ensures that outcomes triumph over egos.

• Foster an environment where team members feel comfortable sharing challenges and asking for help.

Coping with Undesirable Outcomes

Even with best practices, things don’t always go as planned. Perhaps a high-priority initiative fails to land, or team members underperform. You can navigate these challenges while maintaining trust and credibility!

Own the Process, Not Just the Results

Focus on what you can control—team processes, communication, and building a culture of accountability. When discussing setbacks, focus on the lessons learned and adjustments made for future success.

Positive Feedback: Celebrate Wins and Effort

Acknowledge the effort and progress, even when results don’t meet expectations. This reinforces a growth mindset and keeps morale high.

Communicate Early, Often, and Completely

The best approach is to ensure that the outcome isn’t a surprise to any stakeholder -- communicate risks when they surface, and never ever bank on everything lining up perfectly. When projects fail, be transparent about the contributing factors and your plan to address them. Transparency and ownership fosters trust with leadership and your team.

Shifting Mindset

Becoming an effective manager requires a mindset shift from “maker” to “multiplier.” Instead of asking, “What did I accomplish today?” you’ll ask, “What did I help my team accomplish today?” Success as a manager is no longer about your individual brilliance but your ability to enable the brilliance of others.

This transition can feel challenging, especially when your performance is evaluated based on outcomes you don’t directly control. By focusing on influence, trust, and strategic alignment, you can lead your team to success while growing into a confident and impactful engineering manager.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

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• If you’re in the thick of it and want a steady partner in your corner, coaching is exactly what I do. Grab a free, no-pressure discovery call here: cal.com/katie-leonard-northvine/discovery-session

And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

A powerful tool for making these tradeoffs explicit is the Line of Embarrassment—a literal line in your backlog that separates what must be done from what would be nice to have.

Understanding the Line of Embarrassment

Think of the tasks in your backlog as sitting in one of two buckets:

• Above the line: The set of tasks that must be completed for the team to not be completely embarrassed to say they worked on the feature. These tasks define the minimum level of quality and completeness required for a credible launch.

• Below the line: Tasks that, while potentially valuable, are not strictly necessary for an acceptable release. These might include optimizations, additional polish, or gold-plating features.

Using this approach, you focus your prioritization effort on the tasks above the line. Those below the line exist, but they do not consume the same level of attention in planning.

Applying the Line of Embarrassment in Practice

When you build a plan for delivering a software feature, your backlog quickly fills with tasks—some essential, some aspirational. The Line of Embarrassment is a tool for efficiently parsing your backlog so you can clearly see how much real work remains. Here’s how you can use it effectively:

1. Define “Good Enough” as a Team

Before you determine what sits above or below the line, align with your team and product partners on what “good” means. What must be true for the feature to be usable, stable, and supportable? Document these as explicit release criteria.

2. Stack-Rank Above-the-Line Work

Prioritize the work that must happen. You can refine ordering above the line to ensure the most critical or risky tasks are handled first, but you don’t need to fine-tune the ranking of below-the-line tasks.

3. Include Support and Go-to-Market Tasks

It’s not just about writing code. If your team ships a feature but can’t support it, you will be embarrassed. If Sales and Customer Success don’t understand it, that’s also a problem. Any required documentation, monitoring, alerting, or internal enablement must live above the line.

4. Use the Line to Make Data-Driven Tradeoffs

If you use story points or other estimation techniques, summing up the effort required for all above-the-line work gives you an actual number to compare against your target ship date. If the work is too large for the given timeline, you have two choices:

• Move the target date to allow time for everything above the line.

• Move tasks below the line, trimming scope to meet the date.

This makes the conversation around tradeoffs clear, dispassionate, and objective.

5. Continuously Adjust as You Learn

As the project evolves, some below-the-line work may need to move up, and some above-the-line work may prove unnecessary. The Line of Embarrassment isn’t static—it should be revisited regularly to reflect reality.

Why This Works

The Line of Embarrassment is an effective mental model because it forces discipline in prioritization and makes scope decisions explicit. It provides a clean, communicable framework for discussing tradeoffs with stakeholders and ensures that teams stay focused on what truly matters.

By integrating this into your backlog management, you create a structured yet flexible way to navigate the inherent uncertainty of software development. Instead of endless debates about whether a feature is “done enough,” you have a clear, shared standard—ensuring that when you ship, you can do so with confidence.

So next time you’re deep in delivery planning, draw the Line of Embarrassment—and use it to ship smarter.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

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And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

Step One: Understand what the voice is trying to tell you

If you’ve faced criticism or failure before, your inner voice might warn you to stay in your comfort zone to prevent that pain from happening again. It might say things like, “Don’t try—you’ll just fail,” as a misguided way to protect you from disappointment. My inner voice tells me it is safer to be in the middle of the pack, because being at the top would make people feel bad, and being at the bottom would frustrate only me.

Understanding that your inner voice is trying to protect you – or others – can help you recast your relationship with your inner critic. Instead of seeing it as an enemy, recognize it as a cautious ally that sometimes overreacts. Use it as an advisor, not as a director. What is your inner voice trying to keep you safe from? This question can uncover fears you may not even realize are holding you back.

Step Two: Acknowledge the feelings and put them in context

Once you identify the fear, you can thank your inner voice for its concern but challenge its assumptions. For example, you might say, “I hear you’re afraid I might fail, but growth requires trying new things.” You can also remind your inner voice of the relative safety of your activities. To your voice, failure might mean rejection from your community leading to certain death, but learning how to play the guitar, or giving a presentation to 50 strangers has never led anyone to meet a gruesome end. Remember, your inner voice wants to protect you, but it doesn’t always have the full picture. With time and awareness, you can retrain it to guide you toward growth rather than holding you back.

Step Three: Collaborate with your inner voice to find a solution that works

Addressing your inner voice’s concerns can shift its tone from critical to constructive – using its creative energy to support rather than hinder you. Giving a presentation in front of 50 strangers is daunting, but what would need to happen in order for it to be a success? Preparation and practice are two strategies that come to mind. You can also quiet a voice that criticizes your fumbling first attempts by adding the word “yet” to whatever criticism it throws at you. “You can’t play the guitar… yet.” “You can’t give an interesting and engaging presentation... yet.” This subtle shift acknowledges your current reality while leaving space for growth.

Pair this new shifting strategy with affirmations grounded in truth, such as, “I am capable of learning new skills,” or “I’ve overcome challenges before; I can do it again.” One of my personal favorites is “I am not made of sugar,” meaning that I am tougher and more resilient than my fears are trying to tell me.

Finally, surround yourself with positivity. Seek feedback from trusted peers, consume content that uplifts you, and take small actions that reinforce your abilities. Confidence grows through repeated, positive reinforcement.

Changing your inner dialogue takes time, but it’s worth the effort. By acknowledging your inner voice, you put your fears in perspective, and ensure they are only one of the feelings you experience when trying something new. Choosing optimism over doubt, you can quiet the inner critic and unlock a mindset that supports your growth and success.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

• Subscribe so the next note lands in your inbox.

• If you’re in the thick of it and want a steady partner in your corner, coaching is exactly what I do. Grab a free, no-pressure discovery call here: cal.com/katie-leonard-northvine/discovery-session

And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

“If a director role were to open today, would I be at the top of your list to recommend for the role? If not, what skills or experiences would I need to have to get to the top of the list?”

This question is powerful for several reasons:

1. It Signals Your Intent

If it wasn’t already clear to your manager that you’re aiming for the next level, this question makes it unmistakable. Rather than hinting or assuming they know, you’re stating outright that you’re working toward a promotion. Leaders value clarity, and by framing the conversation around a hypothetical scenario, you give your manager the opportunity to think ahead rather than react in the moment.

2. It Removes Emotional Charge

Because it’s hypothetical, there’s no immediate pressure, competition, or disappointment attached. There isn’t an open role—yet—which means your manager doesn’t have to navigate the tension of choosing between multiple candidates or worrying about delivering bad news. Instead, you both can focus on constructive feedback.

3. It Shifts the Conversation to a Clear, Actionable Plan

Many career conversations stay vague—”keep doing what you’re doing” or “you’re on the right track.” But this question forces your manager to evaluate your readiness for the next level and articulate what gaps exist. If you’re not at the top of the list, why not? What specific skills or experiences do you need to build? This gives you a concrete roadmap for what to focus on before your next performance evaluation.

4. It Reveals Whether You Have the Right Champion

If your manager can’t or won’t answer the question meaningfully, that tells you something important. Either they aren’t invested in your growth, or they don’t see a path forward for you. In that case, you may need to find a champion elsewhere in the company—someone who will advocate for you and help position you for leadership. On the other hand, if your manager gives you clear feedback and action items, you’ll know they’re invested in your success.

When to Ask This Question

The best time to ask isn’t during a performance review—it’s in between. Mid-cycle is when you have time to address any skills or experience gaps before your next formal evaluation. This conversation also keeps your goals top of mind for your manager, making it more likely they’ll think of you when opportunities arise.

If you’re serious about career growth, don’t wait for promotions to happen to you. Use this question to take charge of your trajectory and position yourself for success.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

• Subscribe so the next note lands in your inbox.

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And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

A Metaphor: Incandescent Bulbs vs LED Lights

Incandescent bulbs waste 90% of their energy as heat, with only about 10% of the energy actually producing visible light. LEDs convert almost all their energy into light, making them significantly more efficient. A 10W LED produces the same brightness as a 60W incandescent, but with six times the efficiency. Besides the difference in...well…physics (this is an imperfect metaphor)...LEDs have strong DIRECTION.

Team effort can be scattered like an incandescent bulb, wasting 90% of their energy in context switching between priorities, or trying to make sense of unclear requirements. When next steps are not clear, or there are too many top priorities, effort gets diffused. Work happens, but progress is slow. When teams are focused on few priorities – and when the “next move” is crystal clear—they burn brighter without burning out.

The Power of Clear Next Steps

In The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey, Kenneth Blanchard and his co-authors share a simple yet powerful principle:

“Rule number one is that the ‘next moves’ must be described.”

This may seem obvious, but it’s a rule that’s easy to forget. Every moment of uncertainty in a project creates delays in decision-making, in action, and in forward momentum. Clarity isn’t just about knowing the overall goal; it’s about knowing exactly what to do next. As Blanchard puts it:

“The more clearly one understands what must be done, the greater the energy and motivation that exist for doing it.”

How Clarity Unleashes Speed

I once led a team that was developing a reputation for shipping slowly. Engineers were working hard, but the work itself wasn’t moving. When I looked closer, I noticed a pattern: many of our tasks were labeled as “technical discovery” with vague instructions like “Dig in here and tell us about the problem space.” These types of tasks are easy to procrastinate, because they lack a clear start and a clear end.

So I made a shift. Instead of endless exploration, I focused on defining the next tangible step. I started working about 2 weeks ahead of the team, ensuring there was a clear definition for what we needed to build next. The result? The team picked up speed—fast. I started working 6 weeks ahead of the team, and the more clarity they had, the more they shipped. Every time I took stock, they were executing faster and closing the gap.

What Slows Teams Down?

If your team isn’t shipping, it’s usually due to one (or both) of these problems:

• Unclear next steps: Without a clear path forward, engineers hesitate, second-guess, or wait for further direction.

• Too many competing priorities: If everything is important, nothing moves forward efficiently.

It’s rarely because people don’t want to do the work. Motivation isn’t the issue—lack of clarity is.

How to Increase Velocity Without Burnout

• Define the next move: Before assigning work, make sure it has a clear, actionable next step.

• Stay ahead of the team: If you’re leading, ensure the team isn’t waiting on you to figure out what’s next.

• Reduce competing priorities: If people are context-switching between too many things, progress will be slow.

Velocity isn’t about working harder—it’s about working with clarity. The sooner your team knows exactly what to do next, the faster they’ll execute.

But knowing what to do is just one part of leadership. If you’re transitioning from an IC to an EM role, this kind of strategic thinking—clearing roadblocks, setting direction, and enabling your team to move fast without burning out—is an important skill to develop.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

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And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

In Why Managers Matter: The Perils of the Bossless Company, Nicolai J. Foss and Peter G. Klein outline two key types of authority:

• Mark I Authority: The ability to hire, fire, instruct, supervise, intervene, and hold people accountable.

• Mark II Authority: The ability to lead, create structure, align people around shared goals, and drive change.

To be an effective manager, you need both.

Mark I: Learning to Manage

At first, new managers often focus on Mark I authority—the traditional managerial functions. This is the part that feels most concrete:

• Setting expectations: Making sure people know what they’re responsible for.

• Giving direction: Assigning work and making sure it gets done.

• Holding people accountable: Addressing missed deadlines or performance gaps.

• Providing structure: Ensuring meetings, processes, and workflows run smoothly.

These skills are essential. If you avoid Mark I authority because you want to be liked or feel uncomfortable enforcing expectations, your team will struggle. Without clear direction and accountability, work slows down, and frustration builds.

But if you stop here, you’ll hit a ceiling. Teams need more than oversight—they need inspiration, alignment, and growth. That’s where Mark II authority comes in.

Mark II: Learning to Lead

Great managers don’t just manage work; they lead people. This means:

• Creating clarity: Helping your team understand the bigger picture and how their work fits into it.

• Building trust: Supporting your team, advocating for them, and making them feel safe to take risks.

• Fostering growth: Coaching and developing people instead of just assigning tasks.

• Driving change: Improving processes, navigating challenges, and inspiring people toward a vision.

This shift—from directing work to developing people—is the hardest part of becoming a long-term, successful manager. But without it, you’ll struggle to keep talented team members engaged and motivated.

The Long Game: Balancing Both

Some managers lean too far into Mark I, micromanaging every detail and becoming bottlenecks. Others focus too much on Mark II, inspiring people but avoiding the hard conversations about performance and accountability.

The best managers know when to switch between the two:

• When someone is new or struggling, they may need more Mark I structure—clear guidance, expectations, and accountability.

• When someone is capable and growing, they need more Mark II leadership—autonomy, support, and opportunities to stretch.

Long-term success as a manager isn’t about choosing between managing and leading—it’s about balancing both.

Your Next Step

If you’re a new manager, ask yourself:

• Am I setting clear expectations, following up, and holding people accountable?

• Am I also coaching, aligning, and helping my team grow?

• Am I adapting my approach based on what each team member needs?

Stepping into management is a journey, and mastering both Mark I and Mark II authority takes time, practice, and support.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

• Subscribe so the next note lands in your inbox.

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And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

On the surface, this shift seems efficient. In reality, it risks hollowing out one of the most important aspects of engineering leadership: developing people. Stepping into people management requires an entirely different skill set, including evaluating performance, giving feedback, cultivating culture, and coaching. It is a steep, experience-driven learning curve. I read all the books on leadership before becoming a manager, but learned quickly that there are no shortcuts.

When a manager’s scope expands to five or more engineers, their calendar shifts from maker time (long stretches of deep work) to manager time (meetings that turn the calendar into Swiss cheese). It becomes difficult to contribute meaningfully to a codebase, or even keep a development environment current. When technical leads are also responsible for people management, something gives. More time spent coding means less time on deep listening, mentorship, and career advocacy. The result is burnout for both ICs and managers, stalled career growth, slipping morale, and eventual attrition.

Instead of asking people managers to go back to being technical, what if we recognized people leadership as its own valuable specialization? Instead of cramming three jobs (people manager, technical lead, and project manager) into one role, we could split it into two.

Tech Lead Managers could lead small, focused teams of two or three engineers, fully embedded in the technical work and driving projects across the finish line. A day in the life might involve reviewing code, unblocking tricky implementation issues, and collaborating closely with engineers to solve architectural challenges.

People Coaches would lead groups of Tech Lead Managers, and as coaches they could guide individual contributors through career growth, build team culture, and help navigate interpersonal challenges, without the competing pressure of delivery deadlines. A day in the life might include one-on-ones focused on development, designing growth plans, resolving team tensions, and aligning people’s career goals with the company’s mission.

This model acknowledges that technical execution and human development are both essential, and both deserve dedicated focus.

The companies that thrive in the next decade will understand that great engineering is not just about shipping features, it is about creating the conditions for people to do their best work, connected to purpose and continually growing. What would happen if we stopped forcing one role to do three jobs, and instead created space for both technical and human leadership to flourish? Perhaps it’s time to try it, pilot it, and see what happens when both sides of engineering leadership finally get the attention they deserve.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

• Subscribe so the next note lands in your inbox.

• If you’re in the thick of it and want a steady partner in your corner, coaching is exactly what I do. Grab a free, no-pressure discovery call here: cal.com/katie-leonard-northvine/discovery-session

And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

Why Managers Matter

In their book Why Managers Matter: The Perils of the Bossless Company, Nicolai J. Foss and Peter G. Klein argue that hierarchy and management are essential to maintaining order. They write:

“Hierarchy represents an effort to solve the universal twin problems of coordination and cooperation faced by any social group.”

These problems (how to align people’s actions and interests) aren’t unique to business. They appear in every system of human activity. Whether it’s a startup trying to bring a new product to market or a sports team working toward a championship, success depends on coordination and cooperation. Without leadership, the system tends toward confusion, inefficiency, and conflict.

The Role of Managers in Coordination and Conflict Resolution

Managers play a critical role in ensuring that work is structured in a way that enables efficiency. As Foss and Klein put it:

“An important role for managers is making sure that processes are coordinated to help avoid conflict. Reducing conflict if it does emerge is another key managerial task.”

When priorities compete or departments work at cross-purposes, managers step in to resolve these tensions. They ensure that people are working toward the same goals and that resources are being allocated effectively. This role is especially important in complex organizations where different teams and functions must align to deliver value.

The Push to Remove Managers—and Its Risks

Despite their importance, middle managers are increasingly being squeezed out of corporate structures. Companies are flattening hierarchies in an effort to cut costs and speed up decision-making. According to The Wall Street Journal, middle management positions have declined by 6% since the pandemic, and remaining managers now supervise, on average, three times as many employees as they did in 2017.

Tech leaders like Meta’s Mark Zuckerberg have questioned the value of management layers, advocating for leaner organizations. In 2023, he launched Meta’s “Year of Efficiency,” which involved cutting managerial roles to streamline decision-making. While there are certainly cases where bureaucracy slows progress, eliminating too many managers can lead to unintended consequences.

With fewer managers in place:

• Employees receive less mentorship and career development.

• Coordination becomes more challenging, leading to inefficiencies.

• Conflict resolution is harder, as fewer people are responsible for guiding teams through disagreements.

• Burnout increases—one study found that 86% of managers are already experiencing job burnout.

Managers as Value Creators

The best managers don’t just supervise work; they amplify the impact of their teams. They clarify priorities, remove obstacles, develop people, and create an environment where employees can do their best work. Organizations that undervalue this role risk slipping into entropy—where misalignment, inefficiency, and disengagement take hold.

Rather than eliminating managers altogether, companies should ask: How do we ensure managers are truly adding value? Investing in strong leadership development and empowering managers to focus on what matters (rather than unnecessary bureaucracy) can help businesses stay competitive through coordination and cooperation.

At the end of the day, managers are not just overhead. They are architects of order, and their role in fighting entropy is one that no successful company can afford to ignore.

Key Takeaway

As companies navigate the balance between efficiency and effective leadership, one thing remains clear: great managers add value by fostering coordination, reducing conflict, and ensuring teams operate at their best. Simply cutting management layers without investing in leadership development can lead to burnout, inefficiency, and disorganization.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

• Subscribe so the next note lands in your inbox.

• If you’re in the thick of it and want a steady partner in your corner, coaching is exactly what I do. Grab a free, no-pressure discovery call here: cal.com/katie-leonard-northvine/discovery-session

And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

I know that voice well. It’s followed me through many seasons of my career with self-defeating questions like, When will they figure out I have no idea what I’m doing? and Who am I kidding, I’ll never get this!

Impostor syndrome thrives in silence and comparison. And right now, it has the perfect breeding ground: the rapid rise of artificial intelligence. AI has been transforming my industry. It has infiltrated almost every piece of software I use, and, unlike other over-hyped technologies (looking at you, virtual/augmented reality), this one is only gaining momentum.

Not long ago, a new acronym started appearing all over my feeds: MCP—Model Context Protocol. Everyone seemed to be talking about it. Engineers. Senior leaders. Product folks. Thought leaders.

It kept showing up in conversations, posts, and team updates. I didn’t even know what it stood for. But I knew it mattered. And yet, it stayed on my to-do list for weeks: Understand MCP. The longer I delayed, the more the fear grew. I spent more time thinking, What if this is the moment the industry leaves me behind? What if I really don’t get it anymore? Maybe it’s time to open a fruit stand.

That fear was familiar. It was impostor syndrome. And it was loud.

What Helps Me Through It

Over the years, I’ve learned that impostor syndrome doesn’t vanish with success. The most important thing I’ve learned is how to recognize it and how to meet it. Not with grand gestures. But with small steps.

I’ve used this approach again and again:

• Name the fear.

• Shrink the goal. Don’t conquer the whole mountain—just find the trailhead.

• Take one small action. Not to win, but to move.

• Wait for curiosity. It usually arrives once the fear has abated.

How I Got Unstuck

So with MCP, I applied this strategy.

• Step one: I found a blog post. That was it. I didn’t read it. I just located it, opened the tab, and walked away. That was enough for the day.

• Step two: A few days later, I opened the tab again. Still unsure. Still anxious. But I read it—or had ChatGPT read it to me. That helped. A little. Still, I paused again.

• Step three: Way leads on to way. What’s Claude Code? A quick search led me to a download link. Then I ran it in my terminal. No stakes. Just a test.

Something shifted. That step didn’t feel scary—it felt interesting. I wasn’t blocked by fear anymore. I was driven by curiosity. One small action led to another, and before long I was moving again. The fear wasn’t gone, but I wasn’t focused on it anymore, and I had built a path around it.

You’re Not Alone—And You’re Not Behind

Maybe you’re feeling that right now. Maybe it’s AI. Maybe it’s a new role. Maybe it’s the quiet worry that you’re supposed to have it all figured out already.

Whatever form it takes, impostor syndrome convinces us that we’re alone in our uncertainty. But that’s a lie. The truth is: feeling behind is often the first sign that you’re about to grow. So what can you do?

The Small Step Rule

Start small. Not to conquer your fear. But to move beside it.

• Open one tab.

• Ask one question.

• Skim one paragraph.

• Let one bit of curiosity take the lead.

Fear builds a wall. But small steps, taken again and again, build a path around it.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

• Subscribe so the next note lands in your inbox.

• If you’re in the thick of it and want a steady partner in your corner, coaching is exactly what I do. Grab a free, no-pressure discovery call here: cal.com/katie-leonard-northvine/discovery-session

And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

What is the GROW Method?

The GROW model was developed and elaborated in the 1980s by Sir John Whitmore in his book “Coaching for Performance.” It is a flexible and practical framework that can be adapted to a variety of contexts, including personal development, business coaching, and leadership training. The model’s clear, four-step process provides a straightforward structure that is easy to understand and apply.

The Four Stages of the GROW Method

Goal Setting

This is the most important stage, and where you will spend the most effort:

• What do you want to achieve?

• Why is this important to you?

• What will achieving this particular goal bring to your life?

It isn’t just about getting clear about the target, but painting a detailed picture of what your life will be like when you achieve the goal. Getting this level of clarity ensures that you are focused on the most rewarding path, and can increase your motivation to take action.

Reality

The reality of your situation is where you may be tempted to spend the most time, because it is the easiest to communicate. The help clarify your current circumstances, ask yourself:

• What needs to be different about you or your situation for you to achieve your goal?

• What have you tried so far, and what has been the outcome?

• What resources or strengths do you have at your disposal?

BEWARE! Defining reality is easier than moving on to the next stage because it deals with familiar territory. You may be tempted to describe all the ways you are a victim of circumstance and are justified in staying stuck. It also helps you avoid the uncertainty and risk associated with exploring new options and taking action. Knowing how you got here is important, but don’t stay here for long.

Options

What’s really exciting about hitting the Options stage is that you get to unleash your creativity and explore all the potential paths you could take. It’s like opening a door to new opportunities and seeing where your ideas can lead, which can be super energizing and motivating. When you are stuck feeling like there are no options available to you, start questioning your assumptions!

• Brainstorm solutions until we have at least 5. Which of these do you feel drawn to?

• What assumptions are you making about your situation? How would it change your options if the opposite were true?

• What would you do if you had unlimited time and money?

After exploring all of your options, you will feel empowered and energized. Having a range of possibilities and potential paths forward, it is easier to feel clear about the next steps to take. This leads very quickly towards the Will.

Way Forward

After exploring a larger range of options, you will inevitably be drawn towards one course of action. The next stage is about defining the actions you need to take. The Will stage is all about creating an actionable plan and committing to taking the first step. Ask yourself:

• What is the first action you plan to take?

• What is likely to get in your way? How will you deal with it?

• When are you planning to take this step?

• Who can you recruit to help you along the way?

In the Will stage, there’s often a mix of excitement and anxiety about tackling challenges and engaging your support network, but overall, you will feel empowered and proactive about reaching your goal.

The GROW model offers a structured and effective approach to setting and achieving goals, guiding you from defining your objective to taking actionable steps. By breaking down the process into manageable stages—Goal, Reality, Options, and Will—you can gain clarity, explore possibilities, and make informed decisions. If you’re ready to apply the GROW model to your personal or professional goals and want personalized support, book a discovery session today.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

• Subscribe so the next note lands in your inbox.

• If you’re in the thick of it and want a steady partner in your corner, coaching is exactly what I do. Grab a free, no-pressure discovery call here: cal.com/katie-leonard-northvine/discovery-session

And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

The excuses sound familiar:

• “It’s faster if I do it myself.”

• “I really need this done correctly, so I’d better handle it.”

• “I don’t want to overload my team.”

• “I’m not sure they’re ready for this.”

If you find yourself saying these things, it’s worth asking: Are you managing, or are you still playing the role of an individual contributor?

The Hidden Cost of Holding On

When managers don’t delegate, they unintentionally trap themselves between two worlds: part contributor, part leader. The result? Burnout, stalled career growth, and a team that isn’t developing the skills they need to take on more responsibility.

The reality is that effective delegation isn’t just about offloading work. It’s about amplifying your impact while fostering the growth of your team. When done right, delegation frees you up to focus on high-value work like strategic planning, problem-solving, and innovation—activities that actually require your leadership. At the same time, it gives your team members opportunities to develop new skills, build confidence, and take ownership of their work.

And if your goal is to eventually move up the ladder, remember this: you can’t get promoted if you’re still doing the work of the role you held before.

What Should You Delegate?

Effective delegation starts with knowing what to hand off. Take an inventory of your responsibilities and ask yourself a few questions:

• Which tasks are routine, time-consuming, or don’t require your unique skills? Administrative duties, data collection, and project coordination are often good candidates.

• Are there responsibilities that would provide a meaningful learning opportunity for someone on your team?

• Which tasks involve high-level decision-making, confidential matters, or are central to your leadership role? These are generally not good candidates.

By being thoughtful about what you delegate, you can focus on your strengths while giving your team meaningful challenges to grow into.

How to Delegate Well

Once you’ve identified what to hand off, you need to set your team up for success. Start by defining the scope and expectations: what does “high quality” look like, and what are the non-negotiables? Choose the right person based on their skills and capacity, and equip them with the resources, context, and authority they need to succeed.

From there, Kenneth Blanchard’s framework in The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey offers a practical way to think about how much oversight to apply. For any given task, one of two “insurance policies” should be in place:

• Recommend, then Act – The team member researches and develops a recommendation, then gets your approval before proceeding.

• Act, then Advise – The team member makes the decision themselves and informs you after the fact.

A simple rule of thumb: check your own anxiety level. If you’re feeling anxious about an outcome (because of the risk involved, the complexity of the task, or the delegatee’s experience level) start with Level 1. As trust grows and risk decreases, transition to Level 2.

Your job isn’t to micromanage, it’s to set clear expectations and ensure good communication. No one, including your boss, should ever be surprised by an outcome, whether good or bad. Regular check-ins aren’t about control; they’re about providing guidance, answering questions, and staying aligned.

Overcoming Common Challenges

A fear of losing control, perfectionism, or not wanting to overburden your team are all common reasons leaders avoid delegation. But addressing these challenges starts with a mindset shift: delegation is an investment, not a risk.

Mistakes will happen. They’re also opportunities for growth, both for your team and for you as a leader. The goal is to create an environment where team members feel safe to take risks, ask questions, and learn from their experiences. By prioritizing trust and open communication, you build something more valuable than any single task outcome: a team that grows more capable and independent over time.

Free Yourself by Empowering Others

Delegation is one of the most powerful tools in a leader’s toolkit, and one of the most underutilized. When you delegate strategically (choosing the right tasks, the right people, and the right level of oversight) you don’t lose control. You build the leadership pipeline that lets you and your team accomplish more together.

The ripple effect: as your team grows stronger, the entire organization benefits. And you finally get to spend your time on the work that only you can do

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

• Subscribe so the next note lands in your inbox.

• If you’re in the thick of it and want a steady partner in your corner, coaching is exactly what I do. Grab a free, no-pressure discovery call here: cal.com/katie-leonard-northvine/discovery-session

And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

That was then.

Today, the job market—and expectations for managers—have shifted. The end of ZIRP and the accelerating promise of AI are causing many leaders to reassess these roles. Many companies are trimming middle management layers and questioning their ROI. They’re not just looking for team builders anymore—they want player-coaches: leaders who can offer architectural guidance, maybe even ship a feature, and still grow and lead high-performing teams.

It’s an exciting moment—and a disorienting one. For those of us who’ve spent the last few years going deep on people leadership, who’ve built cultures of trust, ownership, and excellence—it’s a confusing time. I haven’t built a full-stack feature in more than six years. But I’ve built teams that can tackle any problem you throw at them. I’ve shaped careers, scaled processes, and stewarded complex, high-impact projects to successful conclusions. That work still matters, but it’s not what companies seem to be prioritizing now.

At the same time, I see a huge opportunity.

If you’re a senior IC with strong technical skills and a deep sense of team, this might be your moment. The “player-coach” model privileges your exact mix of strengths. You don’t have to abandon your technical chops; you just have to grow your leadership presence around them.

This shift doesn’t eliminate the need for management—but it does reshape it. Line management is getting closer to the technical work, often embodied in roles like tech lead managers who flex between execution and enablement. Meanwhile, senior managers and directors aren’t disappearing; their work is evolving. It’s less about individual performance oversight and more about coaching emerging leaders, managing portfolios of projects, and crafting environments where high-trust, high-output, autonomous teams can thrive. Leadership is getting less layered, but more distributed.

AI tools are also changing the shape of the work. With coding assistants, the gap between maker time and manager time is narrowing. What used to require long, uninterrupted stretches of focus might now happen in shorter, more flexible bursts. It doesn’t erase the need for deep work, but it’s possible that the next generation of engineering leaders won’t have to choose between building and leading—they’ll do both, fluidly.

I’m not shipping production code these days—that’s not where I bring the most value. But I see how the landscape is shifting, and I’m interested in how we grow leadership that spans both worlds. I’ve spent years doing the work of building high-performing teams, and I’ll keep doing it in whatever form the future of leadership demands.

If you’re stepping into management for the first time, or rethinking your role in it, the core of the job remains the same: focus efforts, earn trust, remove friction, and build systems where people can do their best work together and over time.

This moment doesn’t call for reinvention but integration. The fundamentals of leadership still hold. What’s shifting is the shape of the role. That might look like smaller teams led by tech lead managers, staying close to the work while enabling others. For senior leaders, it’s a move toward coaching, systems thinking, and environment design. Less managing performance, more amplifying clarity, trust, and momentum across teams.

If you can do that, you’re responding to change and shaping what comes next.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

• Subscribe so the next note lands in your inbox.

• If you’re in the thick of it and want a steady partner in your corner, coaching is exactly what I do. Grab a free, no-pressure discovery call here: cal.com/katie-leonard-northvine/discovery-session

And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

On top of that, I was entering an entirely new domain, filled with jargon I didn’t understand. Everything moved so fast, and everyone else seemed to know exactly what they were doing. I felt like an impostor.

Whenever my friends asked how my new job was going, I’d joke, “Well, they haven’t fired me yet!” It generally got a laugh, but beneath the humor was something real: doubt, insecurity, and the fear that I didn’t belong. In hindsight, I can see that every time I made that joke, I was reinforcing a damaging story—one where I was a fraud and it was only a matter of time before someone realized their mistake in hiring me.

The Reinforcing Loop of Self-Doubt

It took me months to shake off that bout of impostor syndrome. I was doing the right things—working with my coach, articulating my value, and recognizing my strengths as a leader. But every time I made a joke about not being fired yet, I felt like I was taking a step backward.

I started to notice how these jokes affected me. They weren’t harmless self-deprecation—they were reinforcing my belief that I wasn’t good enough. Even worse, they subtly influenced how I showed up in my work. When I made those jokes, I wasn’t just admitting my own insecurities—I was questioning my right to be there.

A Simple but Powerful Shift

What really helped me to put this behind me was recalling some advice I received in the first year of becoming a software engineer. During one of my 1:1s, after months of talking about impostor syndrome, my manager gently suggested something different:

“What if you took a break from focusing on this? Just for a little while. We can revisit in a few weeks, if it is still top of mind, but try giving it a break.”

It was such a simple suggestion, but it changed everything.

“In racing, they say that your car goes where your eyes go.” - Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain

If you drive toward where your eyes are looking, then I had been staring at my impostor syndrome. I was so focused on the ways I felt inadequate that I wasn’t making space to recognize my progress.

Once I stopped constantly questioning whether I belonged, I started stepping into my role with more confidence. I paid attention to what I was learning, to the ways I was contributing, and to the support I was receiving from my peers.

Changing the Story You Tell Yourself

If you keep looking for ways you don’t measure up, you’ll always find them. But the opposite is also true—if you look for the ways you do belong, you’ll find those too.

That’s why self-deprecating humor can be so insidious. It feels lighthearted, but it subtly shapes the way we see ourselves. If every time someone asks how work is going, your answer is, “Well, they haven’t fired me yet!”—you’re reinforcing the idea that you don’t really deserve to be there.

Instead, what if you changed the script?

• Instead of “They haven’t fired me yet,” try “I’m learning a ton and growing every day.”

• Instead of “I have no idea what I’m doing,” try “I’m figuring things out as I go, just like everyone else.”

• Instead of “I don’t belong here,” try “I bring a unique perspective to this team.”

The words we use matter. They shape our self-perception, our confidence, and ultimately, our success.

So next time you catch yourself making a self-deprecating joke, pause. What if, instead, you told a different story—one where you belong?

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

• Subscribe so the next note lands in your inbox.

• If you’re in the thick of it and want a steady partner in your corner, coaching is exactly what I do. Grab a free, no-pressure discovery call here: cal.com/katie-leonard-northvine/discovery-session

And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

It wasn’t until I had a manager who was truly invested in my team’s success that I realized how important that relationship was. I learned that managing up wasn’t just about being micromanaged—it was about building trust, aligning on priorities, and nurturing the support system I needed to be successful.

If you’re new to management, you might be figuring this out for yourself. Here are five mistakes we’ve all made on our leadership journey—and how to avoid them.

1. Lack of Proactive Communication

New managers often assume that if something is important, their boss will ask about it. But in reality, your boss is juggling multiple priorities and won’t always know what’s happening on your team. Keeping them informed is not a sign that you can’t handle what’s going on – in fact, it sends a message that you clearly see what is happening around you, and that you have a plan for how to respond.

The Fix:

• Establish a regular update cadence—whether it’s a weekly email, a quick check-in, or a structured report.

• Be proactive in surfacing problems early rather than waiting for your boss to ask.

• Use a simple format like “Here’s what’s going well, here’s what’s at risk, and here’s where I need your input.”

Your boss shouldn’t have to chase you for updates, and they should never hear bad news about your team or project from someone other than you. The more proactive you are, the more trust you build.

2. Providing Too Much Detail

Not all updates are created equal. Some new managers overcompensate by sharing every single detail about their team’s work, drowning their boss in information. This makes it hard for them to quickly grasp key takeaways and make decisions.

The Fix:

• Get to the point. Use structured, concise updates that highlight key issues and insights.

• Know your audience. Does your boss like to read, or do they want a verbal summary? Tailor your communication to their preferences.

• Use data selectively. Instead of explaining every step taken, summarize findings and provide data-backed conclusions.

Your boss is working at a much broader scope than you, and will value efficiency. If they need more detail, they’ll ask for it.

3. Not Understanding Their Boss’s Priorities

Many new managers forget that their boss is the first stop on aligning the team’s activities to the broader company goals. Not understanding your boss’ goals, pressures, and worries can lead to misalignment and frustration.

The Fix:

• Ask directly: “What’s top of mind for you right now?” or “What are you reading these days?”

• Connect your team’s work to company objectives. Instead of just reporting tasks completed, explain how they impact broader business goals.

• Pay attention to what your boss emphasizes in meetings. This gives clues about what truly matters to them. If your boss is using a new phrase, such as “focus on outcomes over outputs,” that is a guide for how you should be telling the story of your team’s work.

When you show that you understand and support your boss’s priorities, they’ll see you as a valuable strategic partner.

4. Overpromising and Under-Delivering

New managers, eager to prove themselves, sometimes commit to unrealistic deadlines or goals—only to struggle to deliver. This damages credibility and erodes trust. Make sure your “yes, we can do that” actually means something.

The Fix:

• Be realistic from the start. If you’re unsure about a deadline, say, “I’ll check with my team and get back to you.” And say WHEN you will get back to them.

• Flag risks early. If a project is slipping, inform your boss before it becomes a crisis—and offer solutions. Act on the principle of least surprise – no one yells about a slipped date when they’ve known for weeks that delivery was at risk.

• Manage expectations. Instead of saying “We’ll get this done by Friday,” say, “We’re aiming for Friday, but I’ll confirm after our midweek check-in.” Use target dates rather than deadlines when you are talking about the future. These should get more concrete as the day draws near.

It’s better to underpromise and overdeliver than the other way around.

5. Expecting the Boss to Provide All the Direction

Some new managers wait for their boss to tell them what to do rather than taking initiative. This makes them seem overly dependent and slows down decision-making.

The Fix:

• Come with solutions, not just problems. Instead of saying, “What should we do about this issue?” try, “Here are two options—here’s what I recommend.”

• Anticipate your boss’s needs. If they often ask for certain updates, start providing them before they’re requested.

• Take ownership. Your team’s success is your responsibility, not something your boss has to define.

The best managers lighten their boss’s workload rather than adding to it.

Good communication with your boss is about building trust, showing leadership, and making their job easier. By avoiding these five mistakes, you’ll set yourself up for success, gain more autonomy, and become a more effective leader.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

• Subscribe so the next note lands in your inbox.

• If you’re in the thick of it and want a steady partner in your corner, coaching is exactly what I do. Grab a free, no-pressure discovery call here: cal.com/katie-leonard-northvine/discovery-session

And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

Shouldn’t My Work Speak For Itself?

Do NOT fall into this trap. The idea of a meritocracy is an ideal. The rest of us live in the real world, and if you are not telling the story of your impact, no one will have the full picture.

Like all of us, your manager has a fixed amount attention with multiple demands, including running projects, managing their direct reports, managing upward and outward, and thinking about their own career growth. This is why it’s important to not assume they see and understand your intentions and the fullness of your contribution.

If you take one thing from this post, let it be that you should Own The Narrative of Your Career. You can do this by reflecting on your wins, drawing the connection to the company objectives, and taking the time to clarify how you want to grow — or what you want to grow towards — over the following six months.

Reflect on Your Wins — And Take Credit!

How often do you pause and think about everything you’ve accomplished over the past year? Probably not often. Your performance review is your chance to tell a story about your contribution in the context of business impact. Use this format to get started:

• I [drove/lead/contributed to] Project X by [writing/coding/organizing/testing/running]. Project [X] changed [Y] for the better, which impacted [customers/team/company] by [data to illustrate the impact].

Did you streamline a process that saved hours for your team? Did you ship a performance improvement that reduced page load time by 300ms? Did you mentor for someone early in their career and help them grow? These are all wins and stories you want to tell.

The more senior you are, the more accomplishments should be headed by “I drove” or “I lead” statements, and the more you should be able to draw the connection between your activities every day and the success of the business.

Align Your Work with the Bigger Picture

Now that you’ve got your list of wins, let’s connect them to the bigger picture. The key here is showing how your work has directly impacted the company or your team’s goals.

• Did that new feature you led improve user retention? GO DEEPER.

  • How many users? Multiply that number by what the company acknowledges as revenue per user, or the cost to attract new users.

• Did the workflow you designed save the company time? GO DEEPER.

  • How much time did it take before compared to now? Multiply that by an average salary, and you have a number to attach to the time savings.

These are the kinds of things your manager wants to hear, and they’re also the proof points that show you’re not just completing tasks—you’re driving results. If you are struggling to connect your wins to business impact, ask your manager! There should be a clear WHY to attach to every outcome you are driving. Hopefully that WHY is articulated before you start work — at the very least, why THIS and not THAT — but if it isn’t clear at the outset, it is never too late to get there.

Advocate for Career Growth and Development

When it comes to advocating for career growth, it’s easy to think your work will speak for itself: “If I just keep doing great work, someone will notice how well I’m doing and promote me.” Just like owning the narrative of your contribution, you have to clearly articulate and share your career aspirations and the areas where you want to grow. The key is to be specific about how you want to be performing rather than the title you hope to achieve.

For example, if you are looking to move from an individual contributor role into management, identify the skills or experience gaps that you need to be successful in that role. If you are struggling to come up with something concrete, a mentor recently taught me this strategy for opening a conversation with my manager:

“If there was an open role for a manager position today, would I be at the top of your list? If not, what are the gaps I need to fill in order to give you confidence I can be successful?”

This is a powerful tool to uncover what matters most to your particular manager and organization, and can help you identify and ask for the kinds of assignments that will help you practice these skills.

Set Yourself Up for Success in Your Next Performance Review

If you’re still finding yourself without a lot of story to tell, now is the time to set yourself up for success for the next performance review. Find a place to collect screenshots of thanks you’ve received, set monthly reminders to get feedback from your colleagues about how you are showing up for them, or go even further and set up a brag lunch to help your colleagues articulate their wins as well.

In the end, performance reviews don’t have to be a source of anxiety; they can be an empowering opportunity to showcase your contributions and set the stage for your future growth. By reflecting on your wins, aligning your achievements with business goals, and advocating for your development, you’re not just preparing for a review—you’re taking charge of your career narrative. And remember, it’s all about continuous improvement. By proactively gathering feedback and celebrating your successes, you’ll not only build your own confidence but also create a supportive environment where everyone thrives. So, take these steps now, and watch how they transform your next performance review into a powerful moment of recognition and opportunity.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

• Subscribe so the next note lands in your inbox.

• If you’re in the thick of it and want a steady partner in your corner, coaching is exactly what I do. Grab a free, no-pressure discovery call here: cal.com/katie-leonard-northvine/discovery-session

And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

1. Audit

Where is your time actually going? Start by tracking everything you do for a week. You can use a time-tracking app, a spreadsheet, or even a simple notebook. If you’re like me and you live and die by your calendar app, you can also just pull up the weekly view and do an assessment from there.

The goal is to uncover patterns: Are you spending too much time in meetings? How are you spending the time in between them? Are you losing chunks of the day to emails or context switching? Once you have a clear picture, categorize your activities into high-value (e.g., strategic planning, mentoring) and low-value (e.g., repetitive tasks, unnecessary status meetings). If you use Google Calendar, pick colors to represent different types of tasks and the page will show you in the left nav what proportion of time you spend on each activity.

From there, you can eliminate, delegate, or streamline the tasks that don’t align with your priorities. It’s a small investment of time that pays big dividends in clarity and focus.

• Eliminate: What meeting are you in right now, and what is your participation level? If you are reading this blog instead of paying attention to the meeting, you are fragmenting your attention and not contributing value to either activity. Decline meetings that don’t require your active participation.

• Delegate: What responsibilities are you doing currently that could be shared among your team? Evaluate your task list with a critical eye to determine which tasks absolutely must be done by you. Everything else is on the table for delegation. Try to match responsibilities with folks who are looking to grow in those areas.

• Streamline: Are you spending your time doing repetitive tasks that could be automated? As a software engineer, it was usually worth the time to build a script, write a macro, or find a tool that could speed up the repetitive tasks that don’t require as much deep thought to perform. Try chatGPT or a snippet/text expander to speed up your next task. At the very least, try batching tasks so that you are reducing switching costs.

2. Set Priorities That Stick

Setting priorities that stick is all about aligning your time with what truly matters. As a leader, it’s easy to get caught up in the daily whirlwind of urgent tasks and immediate demands, leaving little room for the bigger picture.

Start by clarifying your long-term goals—both personal and professional—and breaking them down into actionable steps. Tools like the Eisenhower Matrix can help you separate what’s urgent from what’s important, ensuring you focus on tasks that drive meaningful progress. Another approach is using OKRs (Objectives and Key Results) to align your priorities with your team’s goals. The key is consistency: revisit your priorities regularly to adjust as needed and avoid drift.

3. Master the Art of Saying No

Saying no with grace is one of the most powerful time management skills a leader can develop. It can be difficult to admit when you are operating at your capacity, but it is important to recognize that every “yes” to something new is a “no” to something else, often something more important.

When you need to say no, do it with empathy and clarity. Acknowledge the request and its importance, explain your constraints, and, if possible, offer an alternative solution or delegate the task to someone better suited. For example, you might say, “I’d love to help, but my focus this week is on [top priority]. I think [colleague’s name] might be able to assist.” Practicing these conversations can help you feel more confident and find the right words for tricky situations, turning a hard “no” into a productive dialogue.

4. Lead Your Time, Don’t Let It Lead You

Proactively planning your time is the secret to staying ahead of the chaos and making space for what truly matters. Just like preparing your meals for the week on Sunday, preparing your schedule in advance means that you are out of reactive mode and taking charge of your time. One effective strategy is time blocking—dedicating specific chunks of your calendar to particular tasks or priorities. Start by identifying your energy peaks and schedule your most demanding work, like strategic planning or problem-solving, during those times. Block out time for recurring responsibilities, deep work, and even breaks to recharge. At the start of each week, map out your top goals and allocate time for them on your calendar, leaving some buffer for the unexpected. Pair this with a quick daily review each morning to adjust as needed and stay focused.

Every Monday morning I ask myself three questions and write down the answers:

• Where do I want to win this week?

• What actions do I need to take to get this win?

• What positive soundtrack do I need to play in order to help me get this win? (If you like this, check out Soundtracks by Jon Acuff)

And every day I post in a public channel on slack:

• What is my main focus for the day?

• Why is it important?

• What outcome am I driving?

This intentional approach not only increases productivity but reduces the mental load of constant task-switching. A coach can help you refine this system, ensuring your plan aligns with your values and leadership goals while holding you accountable for sticking to it.

Time management isn’t about packing your day to the brim—it’s about creating the space to lead effectively, focus on what matters most, and avoid burnout. By auditing your time, setting clear priorities, learning to say no, and planning proactively, you can take control of your schedule instead of letting it control you.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

• Subscribe so the next note lands in your inbox.

• If you’re in the thick of it and want a steady partner in your corner, coaching is exactly what I do. Grab a free, no-pressure discovery call here: cal.com/katie-leonard-northvine/discovery-session

And if a manager you know needs to hear this, forward it their way. That’s how Keeping Steady finds its people.

Four months into a new job, I was already sweating.

I’d joined as an individual contributor on a 15-person engineering team, everyone reporting straight to the CTO. Leadership was about to insert a management layer, three EMs, five reports each, and I wanted a seat. I’d left a bigger company where I’d been tech lead across multiple teams, I’d had some great managers (and some not so great), and I’d spent years reading the management canon, preparing for this moment.

Turns out, reading about becoming a manager is like reading about bungee jumping, or riding a roller coaster — it doesn’t quite capture the lived experience.

The first challenge I had to face was performance reviews. Leadership was rolling out new career ladders, which meant telling engineers, some for the first time, that they weren’t meeting the bar. I am conflict-averse to my core, so this was a considerable stretch assignment.

What scared me wasn’t the conversation itself. It was the aftermath: being disliked, judged, found wanting by someone I’d still have to work beside tomorrow. So went back to my preparation playbook and tried to read my way toward competence. Crucial Conversations. Difficult Conversations. Nonviolent Communication. I even attended a workshop on delivering feedback that lands.

It was the steepest learning curve of my life, and it was the biggest step-wise change in my communication skills I’ve ever experienced. I use these skills daily, at work and everywhere else that feedback matters.

Books only got me partway, though. The rest came from people who had already built these skills, and who were willing to talk through the challenges I was facing. I had a deep bench of friends and mentors who helped me try out different approaches, and even rehearse the conversations I was dreading the most.

I remember starting a new role once, inheriting a team with a clear underperformer already on it. My approach is always to build trust before delivering hard feedback, but this time there was no runway for that. I asked a colleague for their advice.

Her advice: skip the choreography. Just tell the person, “normally I’d take time to build trust before saying this, but I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t tell you now, there’s a real gap that needs to close.” It was a great reframe, and got me out of my own experience enough to see that giving feedback isn’t about me — its about the person receiving it, and it could change the trajectory of their career.

Of course, managing for performance is different from coaching. Coaching is about partnership, which is harder when there is a power dynamic between a manager and a direct report. When I coach people, I’m not using the feedback delivery skills I worked so hard to hone. I’m asking simple, open ended questions that help guide someone towards knowing themselves better and solving their own problems.

At the start of goal-setting sessions, I ask, “What will it mean for you to have achieved this goal?” One client went super quiet, and it was clear she hadn’t really thought about it. When she finally answered, it revealed more about what she values, what she believes makes a good life, and what is really motivating to her.

That’s the pattern I keep finding. Connect someone to their why, and goals become clearer and more achievable. Skip it, and even a clean, achievable goal will not be satisfying, or will be put down the moment it gets hard.

So if a burned-out manager caught me in a hallway with sixty seconds to spare, I’d tell her to find her why again. Maybe that means returning to the reason she chose this path in the first place. Maybe it means finding something entirely outside work to fill the well instead. Either way, the fire needs to be stoked.

This is what Keeping Steady is about: honest field notes from someone who’s sat in your chair. No hustle-porn, no five-bullet wisdom. Just what actually helped, and what I wish someone had told me sooner.

If you’re leading through something hard right now, come along. Subscribe below, and hit reply to tell me: what’s your why, and when did you last feel connected to it? I read every response.

Thanks for reading Keeping Steady. I’m Katie, an engineering manager turned coach, writing for the people doing the hardest version of the job.

If this one resonated, two easy next steps:

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